From Bangladesh With Love

Having slowly walked from my work place i conveniently missed the bus that takes me quickly home and had to wait 30 minutes in the cold wind for the next bus. As i finish checking the bus timetable an indian fellow asks me what time the next bus is. I tell him half an hour. The fellow then tells me he'll go back home and then come back out when the bus comes.

It is at times like these that i appreciate having a phone that has video player feature and i sit myself on the bus stop bench and being to watch my last episode of Boondocks. Time flies by and 15 min later the indian fellow from before comes and sits next to me.

Indian: (just loud enough so i can hear him over the headphones) I'm back.

I smile and try to ignore him. I'm not anti-social, Boondocks is really funny.

Indian: (Sitting next to me) Has the bus come by yet?
Kev: (pausing the video, i decide to indulge him) No. (I take my headphones off)
Indian: Do you live here?
Kev: No, i work in West Perth.
Indian: Ah, you work really late? (I know it doesn't look like a question but read it again with an indian accent)
Kev: Just until 8:30, would have been home early if i hadn't missed my bus.


I make my first mistake here when i confuse his interruption for being very social. The small talk goes on for a bit longer and we end up discussing living in Perth. It's at this point that the conversation gets interesting.


Kev: (like i tell everyone) Perth is a nice place to live, it's just not for me.
Indian: Why not?
Kev: Well, it's a bit quiet and the people are a bit funny.
Indian: Yeah, they are very prejudiced and some are really racist but it's not that bad.

What?? What i meant was that the people are a bit laid back i have no idea how prejudice and racisim came into this guys mind. I'm saved from an uncomfortable moment when the bus appears around the corner and i stand up to get the drivers attention.

Now, as an artist i'm used to spotting the smallest of details so i realise that Indian dude has not uncrossed his arms since he sat next to me (second sign i should not have ignored...keep reading, you'll get it). I warranted this to be due to the cold weather but the guy stands up without uncrossing his arms which is a weird and unnatural thing to do. He then proceeds to walk next to me in the strangest manner; arms crossed, head tilted a bit to the right and pelvis thrust awkwardly forward. The first thought that comes to my mind is that he is a bit feminine but i'm guessing it's because of the tight jeans that are currently in fashion in Australia.

Indian dude gets into the bus before me and there's an Australian fellow who looks at him as he walks in (a natural reaction! People tend to be attracted to the doors of the bus when the bus stops). The Australian guy is minding his own business listening to his Ipod when the Indian dude audibly says, "RACIST."


Kev: (convinced i heard him wrong) What?
Indian: (giggling uncontrollably-which is the third sign i should not have ignored) Sorry, i say that when people stare at me with no reason.
Kev: (thinking, "Weirdo!") Ok, i don't really think he was that focused on you.
Indian: (still giggling) Most Australians are...Oh sorry my name's Jabir.

Yes he does stop mid sentence to introduce himself and it is at his point that i notice his stance which was the fourth and final sign. He has uncrossed only his right hand to do the handshake, his left palm is still under his right bicep and his extended arm is only partially extended. Also, his head is now fully tilted to one side and his knees are too close together for any man to be comfortable regardless of how small their balls are. YES! It hits me. Indian man from Bangladesh is gay.

The next few minutes are a bit hazy as i run the previous events through my mind and finally conclude he is gay. The bus gets to my stop and i gladly get off after the very short but very weird ride. Jabir finally convinces me of my suspicion by giving me the happiest wave i've ever received from a stranger as i get off.

Moment of Silence

I'm dedicating this post to my friends.
First in line, my dedication goes to my workmate Gap who lost her father to natural causes this Saturday. She's a nice person who i like to talk to and hang out with and it hurt me to see her crying. I hope her and her family pull through alright.
Secondly i'd like to remember my friend Ali who died after getting swept away by a wave in Albany. It's terrifying to think that it happens without warning. One week i'm kicking a ball around with him in training and the next week the team is wearing black bands around their arms in his memory as they play a game. Sad but that's how life is. I'll miss his Canadian humour.

Back in Oz

While walking through the university today with my friend Matt, we had a conversation i deemed blog worthy. Matt is one of the funniest people i know and he never ceases to amuse me so I'm sure our conversation must have amused the people who were walking behind us as well.


We went to visit the new Humanities common room which is conveniently placed 2 buildings away from our building. Only Curtin University can do something as ingenious as that. We picked up a magazine in the humanities common room that had a listing of all courses available in the humanities department and as soon as Matt's eyes fell on the course 'Anthropology' the convo began:


Matt: You know what course I'd like to do? I'd like to do the 'Indian Jones' course.
Kev: Indiana Jones? (i know how Matt thinks) So you can learn anthropology and still be able to perform acrobatics while retrieving lost artifacts.
Matt: Exactly! You'd be so smart and you'll also learn how to trigger a line of pillars to fall at exactly the perfect speed for you to jump on the heads of the pillars and exit a cave. There should be an Indiana Jones course or a Lara Croft course.
Kev: Maybe it'll depend on your sex when you enrol. If you're male you do the Indiana Jones course and if you're female you do the Lara Croft course.
Matt: True. There's got to be a way they learnt what they know.


Kev: Do you think chicks will have a "how to keep a sexy body while learning anthropology" unit?
Matt: It's all inclusive. I'd say it's about an 8 year course and you learn it all from the anthropology to the ancient booby traps unit to the how to keep a sexy body unit. Doesn't getting exercise reduce your breast size?
Kev: Not for Lara Croft!
Matt: Maybe she's a wet nurse in her free time to keep them big and active...
Kev: Maybe she is..


At this point we walk past the Theatre in Uni which prompts another interesting conversation.


Kev: When was the last time you went to the theatre?
Matt: Can't remember...wait! That's a lie. I went to see an Indian reworking of 'A midsummer dream..Midnight summer...'
Kev: 'A Midsummer Night's Dream?' by Shakespear.
Matt: That's it. But it was all in Hindi and it was done by small Indian acrobats.


Kev: Did you understand it? Do you speak Hindi?
Matt: Not a word. Though it had one or two random words and sentences in English but they were so random they did absolutely nothing to help you understand the plot.
Kev: How did you end up going for that?
Matt: My friend got tickets and took me to see it.
Kev: Is your friend Indian.
Matt: No Caucasian.


Kev: Well, it's good you got that done.
Matt: Yes. Crossed it off my list of things to do before i die. "Watch an Indian reworking of 'A Midsummer Night's dream' performed by small Indian acrobats." Maybe next I'll try to masturbate a camel while rolling down a Swiss alp.
Kev: While singing the Greek National Anthem backwards.
Matt: Of course. Though that might take some setting up.