(conversations are translated from Swahili)
Kenya will never cease to amaze me. I had to go to the police station to report the theft of my drivers license. Below is how the saga unfolded:
I'm walking towards the police station after seeing a sign on the road that said "Gigiri Police station this way---->. Diplomatic Police Station this way--->) "Gigiri" is the name of the area near where i live, which is also the head office of the UN probably why the diplomatic police is located in the same area.
The first building i come across is the Diplomatic Police station and i am genuinely amazed. The road is in cement tiles, the walls are freshly painted, it has an automatic gate entry point possibly for security purposes: this place is spiff. Across the fence of the Diplomatic police station is this rundown stone building with dust all over the walls and a door that is open probably because it can't close well. This building is the Gigiri police station, where i am supposed to go.
I walk through the open gate to find a hawker selling pirated DVDs to a lady in police uniform (yes, the irony is ridiculous). I walk passed the pair and come across two other uniformed ladies basking in the sun on either side of the police station entrance. They must have been off duty so i decide not to disturb them but just as i am walking passed one of them stops me:
Ladycop1: Yes, may i help you? (not moving from the pillar she was leaning against)
Kevin: I've come to report that my drivers license was stolen.
Ladycop1:(not very pleased that she has to leave her comfortable position) Where did you lose it?
*This is the first question the police ask you before you report anything. Why? Coz if the event happened elsewhere you have to report it at the closest polices station to that point. Which meant that if i had not lost my license in the vicinity she would have sent me to another station and resumed her 'break'. Sadly for her this was not the case, i was at the right station.
Ladycop1: (after i tell her where i lost it, she leads the way into the station) Come with me.
She starts to rummage through the reception desk looking for a pen as i occupy myself reading the signs on the notice board on one of the walls stating how much it costs for whatever it was you are reporting, e.g. 50 shillings for a lost drivers license abstract and 100 shillings for a lost identification card abstract.
Ladycop1: (to ladycop2) Do you have a pen? I can't find a pen in this desk.
Ladycop2: No, there was one there earlier. (she resumes going through the assortment of fake dvds. The hawker has got another customer. Booming business at the police station)
At this point a male police officer who must have been head of something walks across the room.
Ladycop1:(to malecop) Afande, (name of respect given to male cops) do you have a pen?
Malecop: (After a brief moment of feeling his pockets) No.
Ladycop1: (Turning to me) Do you have a pen?
Kevin: No.
Ladycop1: That's alright I've found one. Come closer. (I approach the desk)
She asks me for some of my details, name, residence and when she comes to phone number i am stumped coz i have only just got a new Kenyan number and i don't know what it is. I check my phone because i normally save my number there but i remember i had switched phones and i didn't have it. Seeing as i could not go into a ramble of how i have a new number and can't remember i take the risk of looking like a very spoilt brat and call one of my friends and tell them to send my number to me.
Ladycop1: (obviously not impressed) You don't know your number? (i shake my head)
She continues to write the report. Totally ignoring my presence she finishes the report as i get the message with my number in it. She writes down the reference number on the corner of a newspaper and hands it to me.
Ladycop1: Here's your reference number, don't lose it. You'll need to take that to the Traffic office so they can give you an abstract.
I fold the strip of paper and put it in my back pocket grateful that the first step was done without being asked for a bribe.
...to be continued
Kevin: I've come to report that my drivers license was stolen.
Ladycop1:(not very pleased that she has to leave her comfortable position) Where did you lose it?
*This is the first question the police ask you before you report anything. Why? Coz if the event happened elsewhere you have to report it at the closest polices station to that point. Which meant that if i had not lost my license in the vicinity she would have sent me to another station and resumed her 'break'. Sadly for her this was not the case, i was at the right station.
Ladycop1: (after i tell her where i lost it, she leads the way into the station) Come with me.
She starts to rummage through the reception desk looking for a pen as i occupy myself reading the signs on the notice board on one of the walls stating how much it costs for whatever it was you are reporting, e.g. 50 shillings for a lost drivers license abstract and 100 shillings for a lost identification card abstract.
Ladycop1: (to ladycop2) Do you have a pen? I can't find a pen in this desk.
Ladycop2: No, there was one there earlier. (she resumes going through the assortment of fake dvds. The hawker has got another customer. Booming business at the police station)
At this point a male police officer who must have been head of something walks across the room.
Ladycop1:(to malecop) Afande, (name of respect given to male cops) do you have a pen?
Malecop: (After a brief moment of feeling his pockets) No.
Ladycop1: (Turning to me) Do you have a pen?
Kevin: No.
Ladycop1: That's alright I've found one. Come closer. (I approach the desk)
She asks me for some of my details, name, residence and when she comes to phone number i am stumped coz i have only just got a new Kenyan number and i don't know what it is. I check my phone because i normally save my number there but i remember i had switched phones and i didn't have it. Seeing as i could not go into a ramble of how i have a new number and can't remember i take the risk of looking like a very spoilt brat and call one of my friends and tell them to send my number to me.
Ladycop1: (obviously not impressed) You don't know your number? (i shake my head)
She continues to write the report. Totally ignoring my presence she finishes the report as i get the message with my number in it. She writes down the reference number on the corner of a newspaper and hands it to me.
Ladycop1: Here's your reference number, don't lose it. You'll need to take that to the Traffic office so they can give you an abstract.
I fold the strip of paper and put it in my back pocket grateful that the first step was done without being asked for a bribe.
...to be continued
